Reflections

The fourth week of school is about to begin. I can't believe that - the fourth week of school. I have survived the first three weeks. I must say, this upcoming week will be the most "normal" week of school as of yet. The first week was...well the first week of school. The second week I changed classrooms and had parent teacher night. The third week was a short week due to Labor Day. This fourth week will be a five day week with nothing too major going on besides vision screening for a bit on Tuesday. A "normal" week of school.

I think this might be a good time for me to practice one of the key things I learned that teachers should do: reflect. It sounded so practical in college, but when have I had time to formally reflect on what I have been doing these past three weeks? Now it is 8:30 on a Sunday night, I am as ready as I can be from home for school tomorrow and I have some free time before sleeping. A good time to reflect I think.

Overall, these past three weeks have gone well. We have learned something in every subject. The students have been engaged for almost everything and their assessments have shown they are learning the material. So at least I am presenting material in such a way that they can follow it. However, I feel like something needs to change in my teaching. I feel like I am prepared to teach the material but at the same time "wing it" in class time. I want to make my lessons as engaging and interactive as possible but I often find myself just working through the text book with the kids. I could argue, when have I had time to make that extra effort? I am trying to hang on as best as I can as a first year teacher. But then again, why should I make excuses for that?

Then I look at classroom management. It is going pretty well. The students are getting the procedures. I am making a conscious effort to be consistent in everything. I need to continue to make that effort and I need to make sure I am being firm enough.

One thing that worries me is that my class seems to get on each other's nerves at times. I've had a couple days where they all just seem to be at each other's throats. How can I help them come together and work together? How can I help them each develop their strong leadership personalities but also teach them to learn to follow at times too? More group activities will probably help this.

What about the spiritual aspect? Am I being concerned enough about this throughout the day? Where are all my students at spiritually? How can I help them grow in their God-given gifts and help them come closer to Him? Am I showing consistent love and grace to them?

I often feel too young to be doing this and that is a terrible feeling. I am the youngest teacher at the school at 22 years old. I look young. I am young. But I am also qualified for this job. And yet, I have had days these past few weeks of thinking, what the heck am I doing? I am too young for this. I'm not qualified for this. How did I end up as the teacher for 15 little students? It is an overwhelming feeling. But, I know that I was brought to the school by God. He can use me. I love the passage in Jeremiah 1: 6-8:

The I said, "Alas, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, because I am a youth." But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am a youth,' Because everywhere I send you, you shall go, and all that I command you, you shall speak."

So, what could I do differently: a lot. Do I have a lot to learn: of course. But, are my students still learning: yes. Do they feel loved: yes. Am I hanging in there: by God's grace, yes.